The Muse

by Paula Lovgren

I was complaining to my husband the other day about missing my muse. He looked at me oddly and said “Muse? What the heck is that?” To which I looked at him oddly and realized, huh, not everyone has a muse. Weird. Because having a muse to me is as natural as having legs or arms or a head. It’s just there. But he’s an accounting/business type of guy and apparently there’s no need of a balance sheet muse or an international sales muse. Which I think is lucky really, or unfortunate, depending on the kind of day I’m having and the status of my relationship with my muse.

It’s my lot in life to be a creative person. And creative people seem to have muses, even when they try to pretend they don’t. Because believe me, I’ve tried hiding from mine. I’ve tried running away. I’ve tried simply ignoring it. I’ve been downright brutal and abused it, hoping eventually it would just GO AWAY! I don’t have time to write, I’m not good enough, I don’t need to write, it’s silly, it’s a waste of time, it’s too scary. But somehow, it was always there, tapping me on the shoulder, buzzing in my ear, nagging, not allowing me to let my dream, my talents, my happiness die.

So fine. Fine! I turn to face it and my muse is a skittish deer. Literally. A doe. A deer. A skittish female deer.

No, no, no! This is all wrong. This isn’t what I want. I want a hot, Latin, salsa dancing muse with washboard abs and a sexy accent. A male muse. Now that’s something I can work with. If I had the right muse, well, then I could write. I wouldn’t have done all that hiding and running. So I try to conjure him up. I close my eyes and envision him, smiling and sexy, swiveling his hips with those glistening abs and whispering great lines, paragraphs, whole novels to me in that incredible accent. Ah, yes, that I can work with. I open my eyes and there’s my muse, blinking her doe eyes at me, waiting patiently for me to get a clue.

I sigh and imagine some guy in Connecticut trying to work with his hot salsa dancing muse who taunts him with his perfect body and impossible dance moves wondering why in the world his muse can’t just be a skittish deer. A female deer. And I realize we all just have to work with what we have. We can rage against it and use it as still another reason to not do what we want to do, need to do but are too scared to do. We must let go.

So finally, after all the years of running and hiding from her, abusing her and insulting her by trying to make her something else, I turn to her and say (and not so kindly, I might add), “Fine, fine! What do you want?”

But my muse is a funny thing. While she doesn’t like to be ignored or abused neither does she like too much pressure. She doesn’t like to be confronted face to face. She will not be bullied into submission. She doesn’t like to be talked about like something I own or brought out into public for show and tell. In short, she’s high-maintenance. She likes to be approached gently, quietly with outstretched hand she can sniff for signs of deceit. If I move slowly, focus on her, respect her needs she gives me everything I need. Words flow like a torrent, metaphors drop from the sky, every answer is within reach. But, if I jump ahead, try to get to the end without really working, focus on my selfish material desires she scampers off into the dark leaving me alone with a jumble of words I can’t make fit no matter what I do.

Some days, she’s a royal pain in my butt. Other days she’s my greatest ally. It all depends on how I approach her. As much as I would like to blame all my writing failings on her, I can’t. It’s me. Do I show up? Do I let go? Do I listen? If the answer is yes, work flows. If the answer is no, well, that isn’t so pretty and I pay the price in frustration and feelings of worthlessness and failure. Who wants to feel like that? If I want to be happy, I just follow her lead. She hasn’t steered me wrong yet.

After I explained all this to my husband, he cocked his head to one side, blinked a couple of times and said, “So the muse is a deer, huh?” Oh sweet, sweet, literal boy. I love him so. I can only imagine what he’d think if I had gotten the hot salsa dancing muse!

© Paula Lovgren, 2005, all rights reserved




Paula Lovgren lives in Minnesota with her husband and two children. She is a former blackjack dealer, retail manager and marketing minion who is now realizing her genuine life as a mother, a writer, an avid gardener and a rabid basketball fan.
Visit her on the web at http://logicisoptional.blogspot.com/.

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The Power of Journaling for Writers

Queen Erica Miner shares . . .

Anne Frank ... Virginia Woolf …Anaïs Nin ... Sylvia Plath …

Henry David Thoreau ... James M. Barrie … Franz Kafka … Samuel Pepys

Some of these authors are best known for their journals; others have used journaling as both a source of inspiration and a stepping-stone to self-enlightenment. But they, among many others, have one important element in common: they have all engaged in that wonderful, creative activity we call journaling.

We all follow journeys of self-discovery at some points in our lives, but as writers we take these journeys on a daily basis. Journaling is a powerful way for us to chronicle these fantastic voyages. And as I like to point out in my journaling workshops and lectures, it’s no coincidence that the words ‘journey’ and ‘journaling’ come from the same root.

Not only do we gain personal insights and discover new layers of our psyches through journaling; it can also help us get our creative juices flowing and often help us through bouts of writers’ block. I’d like to share with you some of my thoughts and wisdom about journaling that have served me well, both as a writer and as a voyager through life.

Just to give you a little background about myself, I was born in Detroit and started journaling at the tender age of thirteen, when I was just starting high school. Already I found my journal to be my best friend, allowing me to confide my deepest secrets, fears and emotions at that hormone- infused time of life. My recall of that era is so vivid that I am able to recapture my experiences in the novel series I have been working on about a young girl growing up in the volatile 60s and 70s – even though those journals have long been lost.

Years later, when I was going through a devastating divorce, journaling saved my life – literally. Suddenly I found myself with two children to raise and support on my own, and on my worst days I was ready to jump out of my ninth floor apartment window – until I started journaling and poured my heart and soul into my writing instead. And I’m not the only one who has had that kind of profound experience from journaling: Oprah herself credits journaling for saving her life. How powerful is that?

Yes, a journal can see you through difficult times. It can also be a veritable treasure chest of creative ideas and personal history that you can use again and again in your writing. I fervently believe we all have a book inside of us, if not more than one. How many of us have family histories just crying to be told, for example? Your journal could become a novel, or a movie – witness ‘Angela’s Ashes’ or ‘In America.’ The possibilities are endless. A number of writers I have met recently are penning novels that stem from stories they have lived: one woman is writing a novel about living through the ‘blitz’ in London as a young girl; another, a man who survived the battlefields of World War II, is turning his story into a screenplay. Even our own personal family histories handed down by elderly family members can make for compelling writing.

What about travel journals? My own novel, Travels With My Lovers, started as a journal that I had written over a number of years. A number of my other travel experiences have ended up as articles in magazines. People love to read evocative descriptions of far-off places written from the point of view of an expressive observer. In fact, the entire June issue of Vision Magazine, to which I have contributed an article, is devoted to the ‘Traveler’s Path.’

There are so many other ways we can use journaling to enhance our lives. Journals have been kept to help women heal from traumatic illnesses: actress Lynn Redgrave published a book of her healing journey from cancer recently. I met a woman who keeps what she calls a ‘dinner table’ journal, chronicling her favorite culinary and entertaining experiences and the conversations that went along with them. Parents who are motivated enough to take the time to journal the miraculous changes that their babies go through from day to day are rewarded with a joyful record of their children’s early journeys through life.

And the beauty of all this is that you can journal in any way you like, in any form and under any circumstances. The only limitations are those of the human imagination.

So to get you started – or re-started, as the case may be – here are some of my suggestions for making your journaling journey pleasurable and rewarding.

Believe it or not, the type of equipment you use can be a major factor. It’s of utmost importance to choose the type of journal that will inspire you to crack it open and sully the pages with your thoughts and feelings. It can be a bound book of blank pages with a beautiful cover; an artist’s sketch book to which you can add your own inventive touches; a pocket-sized notebook for travel; or a journal with quotes from writers on artists on each page to help inspire you. There’s no limit to the types of journals you can find in stores and on the web.

It’s also important to use the type of writing implement that’s comfortable for you. If you have a favorite pen that feels nice in your hand or even makes your writing look more legible (trust me, even for hopelessly illegible penmanship like mine, there are pens that can do this!) then use that. Of course, if you prefer using your computer to journal, that will work well, too. I am often asked during my talks whether I prefer journaling in longhand or on my computer. I confess that I like to think of journaling as a cozy, intimate activity; and for that, only longhand will do.

Find your perfect time of day or night, when you can quiet your mind and let your thoughts flow. Sit by the fire or light a candle – both are conducive to deep concentration – and let your muse take over.

After you’re set up with that, here are just a few of the many ‘hints’ and techniques I’ve got up my sleeve to get those creative juices flowing:

· Create your own imaginary world and describe it in vivid detail
· Write about someone you met only once but still remember strongly
· Describe your favorite ‘secret hideaway’
And my own personal favorite:
· Recount your very first childhood memory

These are but a few of the wealth of possibilities for journaling that I like to impart to my readers. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to send me an email through my website, http://www.ericaminer.com/. And for those of you for whom journaling is truly a passion and who would like to learn more, you may subscribe to my monthly newsletter in which I pass along a new set of journaling hints in each issue: http://www.ericaminer.com/newsletter.php.

The key is just to take pen in hand, or create a private journaling file on your computer, and see where your personal journey will take you. Once you settle into your own ‘ritual’ you will discover what you have been missing!

Author of Travels With My Lovers

Fiction Prize Winner,

Direct from the Author Book AwardsTop-rated Lecturer,

Celebrity Cruise Lines

http://www.ericaminer.com

© 2005, Erica Miner

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